Hindsight Blindness

The past couple of weeks have been a rough ride with regards to my personal life.

My earthly self has taken a beating, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have been shaken to the core of who I am (or even who I think I am). Pain flooded my veins in ways that I have never felt it before.

My struggles had become so overwhelming that I took everything upon myself to try and fix it. Countlessly, I failed and took the blame for it. Situations kept on happening, and even with the knowledge in hindsight, I was still choosing to be blind. I was, and still am, petrified.

Yet, today, I realized that it didn't have to be that way. I had given up on giving my worries up to God because of my earthly desire to immediately fix the situations.

I failed to notice that He was using the worst of outcomes and given me multiple opportunities to bring Him glory through this, which in turn would heal my aching heart.

All I had to do is give it all, and I mean all, of my worries, my struggles, my sins up to God.

It's going to be hard to fully let go of this, but He has placed the pieces in the right places and I just need to trust Him from the bottom of my heart. As long as I know that Christ is in me, I have the hope of this merciful glory. All I have to do is let go and let God...

be my everything...

be my everything...

be my everything.

There's something broken with the system

I've been out of the loop lately and have yet to find time to actually update this with meaningful thoughts. The past 2 weeks have been crazy and life-changing but I cannot say more on this now, so i'll save that for a later update.

Today, I came across a blog that Jon Foreman wrote. Jon is the lead singer of Switchfoot (my #2 favorite band!!) and he also have some really good solo stuff so check him out if you like acoustic/rock folk. The blog entry touched on stuff with Darfur and the US. I usually tend to avoid political issues and arguments but I have a heart for Darfur so I'll let this one slip in. Even while being the biggest (sarcasm) Obama supporter, I still agree with Jon on this one.

I thought the entry was really good so I'll stop typing and let you read it:

"As a musician, I have a natural aversion to politicians. In fact, I believe in democracy simply because I distrust all politicians equally.

And yet, I have a tremendous amount of faith and belief in humanity. When it comes to folks outside of the power schemes I might even trust people too much. I am ruthlessly idealistic, hopelessly optimistic. I believe the best in people. That's why I have to do something, because I feel that if people knew the truth, they would feel the same as I do. They would feel that something has to be done. They would care and things would change.

President Barack Obama last week requested a $1.5 billion emergency appropriation to deal with a flu outbreak that has killed 3 people in the US. I believe this action was in response to a nation experiencing "what could potentially be the biggest national emergency since Y2K" (genius comparison courtesy of glenn phillips.)

An estimated 300,000 folks have already died in Darfur and we do nothing... $0.00. And three people die of the flu and we spend $1.5 billion to figure things out. $1,500,000,000.00

I understand the need for precautionary measures but this feels like reactionary spending when I am reminded of the 2,500,000 people whose lives hang in the balance in displacement camps? What can be done for them? don't tell me nothing.

Obama: "We can't ignore the genocide in Darfur... We have to do everything in our power to make it stop. We have to act. Now."

Nothing? Years and years go by... and still... nothing...

Our national inaction sends the simple message that a whole crowd of Sudanese souls are not worth as much as an American with the flu. "Surely this is not true!" we protest. And yet our actions speak louder than our words.

There's something broken with the system.

We the people of the united states of america... We are the system. We are the media. We are the government. We are the twittering public. We the people of the united states of america... we own this place. We decide who is president. We pick the next american idol. Obama our leader, is in many ways a follower of his people. In a state where the vote of the populous determines the next face of the government, a politician must listen to his/her constituents to remain in power. I believe nothing was done for Darfur because Obama doesn't think the public cares about Darfur.

Perhaps we can blame the media- perhaps the public doesn't care because they are uninformed, or at least under-informed? Yes, but in many ways "the news" is simply a vendor trying to sell a product, we tell them (with our viewing, purchasing power) what product sells. Britney, Brangelina, or Bosnia. we choose the news.

And now for the staggering fact: you and I are the problem and the solution."

Here's a link to Jon's blog/myspace: http://www.myspace.com/jonforeman